Poem: Invading Iraq, the Best Thing You’ve Done All Day

15 February 2003 | Poetry

Invade Iraq now, you’ll never regret it
Wait too long and you just might forget it.

Invade Iraq in the morning, Invade Iraq at night
Invade Iraq with a vengeance, and make it all seem right.

Invade Iraq with elegance, as a way to prove your love
Why, that new “Invade Iraq” costume just fits you like a glove!

Make it a lifestyle decision, make it a choice of your own
Invade Iraq in privacy, direct from your mobile phone.

Invade Iraq with the children, Invade Iraq with your mum
Invade Iraq with the neighbours—don’t let yourself look dumb.

Don’t invade it on the cheap, or do things on the sly
Invade with a high-speed connection, and a piece of cherry pie.

Do it for a larger penis, do it for online thrills
Invade Iraq on the TV, or while you’re taking your pills.

Do it for a free subscription, do it for travel miles
Go in for a cheaper home loan—invasions always bring smiles.

Invade Iraq for the economy, Invade Iraq for fun
Invade Iraq for the hell of it—or simply because you can!